Everyone is Wizards.

I’ve recently gotten into Magic: The Gathering. It’s a card game, where you have a deck of spells, and you battle each other by summoning monsters and casting other enchantments. My strategy tends to go somewhat along the lines of SUMMON ELEPHANTS WHO THEN SUMMON ELEPHANTS, and then when I have an army of elephants, LIGHTNING ALL UP IN YOUR FACE


Anyway, the idea is not that these things are just duking it out on their own, but that YOU are a wizard. I tend to imagine everyone on the internet as a wizard. They have at their disposal spells(known as URLs), that summon creatures(Websites). and these monsters can make you laugh(funny websites), cry(sad people blogs), reel back in shock(anything on 4chan), or become angry(people’s responses on Yahoo Answers). Naturally, the more URL spells you have, the better a wizard you are. My friends and I, we like to make it a point to become the most powerful internet wizards there are. We search for new spells, and strategically stack them into combos, so that when we are having a conversation(a wizard battle), our instant messenger clients have more URL links than real words.

You gain power by sending a link your opponent has never seen. Your defense is already having seen that site, or picture. Throw me a lolcat, or a motivational, or a poorly translated sign. I will win.

You can generally gauge an internet wizard’s power by their age. If your opponent is old, you can sit back and know that your whole spellbook is about to blow their minds.

If they’re young, you might have to try. You will have to accept the fact that you will see at least one new picture, but as long as you have more than them, you’ll win.

I recently wizard battled my mom.

Sometimes, I love my mom. I mean. I ALWAYS love her, but sometimes I feel it necessary to give her some sort of award. She’s the only person to whom I’m EXCITED to lose. And that just doesn’t make sense.


~ by mcstene on July 27, 2010.

4 Responses to “Everyone is Wizards.”

  1. best birthday present ever! LOL

  2. This is my favorite entry in your blog, and probably always will be. I just love it that much.
    It’s freakin’ brilliant.

  3. Hey! I don’t know you but I sort of know your mama and I am so glad she sent me here to read this.
    You are an awesome son! With an awesome mother.
    And quite the wizard.

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