Movie Review: Predators.

Before I saw the preview, I had heard about the premise of this movie:  “the world’s best fighters against the predators.”

My reply was, “COOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL” “They’re gonna put Terminator, and Rambo, and – -” Well…. I’mma just stop right here, because let’s face it. I have the ability to take a simple concept and turn it into something well…. else.

At any rate I was not disappointed to find out I was wrong, because I already assumed I would be… again, as most of my extremity concepts tend to be.

So, no. Rambo doesn’t get to punch a predator’s head off. Moving on to the actual movie: I personally liked the opening sequence and the disorientation it brought. My friends thought it was cheesy and after they introduced the initial team of heroes, I agreed with them. I was afraid it would turn into an after-school special.

A mexican bandido, an African tribe leader, a spetsnaz soldier, a prisoner, a mercenary, a doctor, a yakuza leader and a hot girl. I’m still not sure what made her the best in her class, because literally only two of her bullets hit. Ok, she played a role as a leader of sorts, until Bear Grylls (voiced by Batman) decides that he’s the survivor, and everyone follows him.

naturally, the movie thins the races while demonstrating that the predators ant them dead. The movie surprised me on one thing. The black guy didn’t die first. what? I was surprised when one of my favorite actors (besides Christopher Walken) made an appearance. Then I was disappointed by how little air-time he got. On the subject of surprises, there are none. If you can’t call the romantic plot within the first 10 minutes, then you should consider options for yourself outside of living..  But let’s face it, people stopped expecting a real storyline out of the predator/alien franchise with the development of Predator 2: electric boogaloo.  The point of the movie is to have people fight the predators, so yeah. hash out the quickest way to introduce who these guys are, and just get to the meat of the murderizing.

One thing that is notable is the underlying theme of the movie – notable,  in that it has one (the only way to survive inhumanity, is to be inuman), while it’s been done better, it wasn’t done poorly. It adds a nice bit of depth, and they develop the idea between the characters well, before throwing the whole concept on an airship and blowing it to bits for the sake of keeping the predictability of the romantic plot alive. They throw some twists into the characters and plot, but I still am waiting for the day where someone makes it illegal to have movies change directors (exceptions being to give the last airbender to someone- nay -ANYONE else. I think even Uwe Bowl can make it suck less.)

Overall, I’d give it 7/10 because it wasn’t awful. And this makes me feel horrible that a movie can do well, on the sole basis that it doesn’t grind your soul against a brick wall. So, yeah, I say see it. Don’t expect it to win awards (unless they give awards to movies with the least fitting soundtrack), but you also won’t be smearing your face on the theater floor, hoping for a janitor to pick you up and throw you in a dumpster. I payed $4 to see it. I wouldn’t pay more, but I won’t fight for any of it back.

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~ by mcstene on July 14, 2010.

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